“Untitled (Memories)” / 1991

My encounters in the woods were much more than a child’s folly.  There I learned to respect nature.  I gave to it and it gave to me in return.  It was an opportunity to learn, an obligation to participate, to interact, to smell, to feel, to hear the way of the woods.  I was equal to the land and the beasts and plants that I moved among.  It was an intimate affair where life and living suddenly became a mysterious event, a celebration, a time of worship and discovery.  My body trembled at the touch of my own hand.  It was all so good.  I was privileged.  Now I am far away from that juncture.  Such simple gestures as removing my shoes, feeling the coolness of the soil, touching my body and soul to the earth, brought me closer to phenomena that I was unable to fully comprehend in my youth.  It takes only a quiet moment to bring it back.  I search for the protected place deeply set in my memory.  I rejoice knowing that it’s still there and always will be, and I am sweetly beckoned to come Home. 

“Untitled (Dream)” / 1988

He would not stop snoring and my patience came to an end.  The maneuvers from this point were familiar to me.  I got up, very loudly, moaning and groaning, grabbed my two pillows, water and medication and stormed into the guest bedroom.  The bed there was too soft, too small, the noise from the street too loud and I was alone.  After a duration of frustration, I fell asleep…

I was traveling to a distant place, a foreign place.  I got as far as the place where my story began.  I had one more plane to catch.  One more connection and I would be there.  But there was time…

When I got off the plane, I walked before a tall, black wrought iron gate.  Beyond the gate was a large, manicured green lawn, and a large two-story radiant white house.  On the porch of this house were several people, also dressed in white.  As I  passed through the gate they waved to me and as I got closer I realized that they were my family.  Everyone was very happy and a feast was being prepared.  I turned the ice-cream maker.  When I looked at my watch, however, I realized that it was getting late, and I might miss my plane.  I told them I must go.  They walked me to the middle of the yard and stood together, waving, as I passed through the gate and out of sight.

I turned a corner and the airport appeared before me.  It had once served as a shopping center, but that was many years ago.  Now the signs and buildings were decayed, old and gray.  Planes passed behind the buildings.  I checked my watch again.  I had more time.  Looking around, I noticed an immense field on the other side of a large parking lot.  A field that stretched as far as I could see in all directions.  The ground was brown and barren, a few clumps of grass here and there.  I decided to walk into the middle of the field and relax before my scheduled departure.

As I walked farther and farther into the middle of the field there was an increasing silence and what seemed like a darkening of the sky.  I thought to myself that it might begin raining, but I persisted in walking to the middle of the vast space.

I reached my destination and sat down, noticing the patterns of light and dark as they shifted on the ground around me.  The airport was barely visible, the silence overwhelming.  For the first time, I looked toward the sky.

To my surprise, the sun was not being blocked by clouds, rather by something else.  I was confused.  The sky was filled and layered with a multitude of objects – black objects.  They were moving, or perhaps floating, through space.  My eyes strained to focus and identify these curious shapes.  As some were closer than others, I directed my attention to one in particular.  It was black.  It was rounded.  It was moving.  It turned gracefully and with extreme ease, very, very slowly.  At that moment I realized it was an animal.  It was a seal.

The sky above me was filled with hundreds, no thousands, of seals.  Each seemed to be dancing a slow, autonomous waltz.  A beautiful dance of sorts, and I had been invited to watch.

I was never so happy as at that moment.  And then it occurred to me.  Something was wrong.

I noticed in the distance that one of the seals was begging to drop.  It was a slow descent and I watched carefully.  My brow furrowed as I anticipated its landing and flopping about on the ground.  Slowly the seal came down and gently touched the soil.  No movement followed.  The beautiful animal was still.  I did not understand.  I looked to the sky again only to see another seal making its slow descent to the earth.  Again there was no movement.  I returned my eyes to the sky.  Another gracefully turning seal was falling.  Tears welled in my eyes.  I looked around.  I was surrounded by hundreds of dead seals.

Through my tears, I strained to see the time on my watch.  It was time to go.  I had a plane to catch.  I had somewhere to go.  I stood up and slowly walked through the darkened field, past the parking lot and into the terminal.  The rooms were filled with the sound of several languages.  Languages I did not understand.  Words I could not comprehend.  I walked into a tunnel.  I was right on time.